Cake
Hello MLIA reader,
You are no doubt wondering: “Is MyLifeisAverage Gold a real thing? Are opossums the same as possums?” The answer to both of these questions is no. MyLifeIsAverage Gold was an April Fool’s Day joke, and possums are the cute and cuddly Australian creatures that were named after opossums because they looked a tiny bit the same.
If you want to send us money for free, though, we have a solution for you. Buy us awesome toys like legos or crayons or Nerf guns. Then mail them to us. You can e-mail me at guru@mylifeisaverage.com for our snail mail address. I’m not really expecting anyone to do this, but we promise pictures if it happens.
In other news, you have probably noticed that a lot has changed at MLIA. Well, actually, nothing has really changed. We’re busy working on some things, but good things take time. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the stories. One of my recent favorites is this one:
Today I voted yes on a MLIA submission because I saw the word “cake.” I didn’t even read it all the way. I just love cake. MLIA
Let’s talk
We want to make MLIA better, and we think that you guys probably have some really good ideas for ways to do that. So I want to open this post’s comment section up to the following things: suggestions to improve MLIA, complaints, comments, and just sending some feedback about the stuff that you want to see from MLIA.
It doesn’t even have to be related to MLIA! We’ll be trying to reply to most of the comments, so now is your chance to ask us anything you want.
If you were a donut, would you eat yourself?
Hewbert
April 9, 2010 at 10:45 pm
Nope, because I would be a donut and donuts cannot eat things. However, if I were to become simultaneously become a donut and be myself at the same time, the myself-me would probably eat the donut-me.
GK
April 9, 2010 at 11:06 pm
That’s way to complicated. Here’s the easy solution: If Guru were to become a donut, I would eat him. The End.
lemonpancake
April 10, 2010 at 4:55 pm
I was wondering if there would be anyway to install a spelling and grammar check for the story submissions. That way when an Original Poster writes a story they can immediately see the error of their ways. I’m a strong supporter of good spelling, it would please me greatly to see a system like the kind used for hotmail emails put into place. If someone is going to the trouble of writing a story that a million other people are going to read then it might as well be gramatically correct.
MelodyDrama
April 9, 2010 at 10:46 pm
*high five*
RogueMuffinCatcher
April 11, 2010 at 8:14 am
that’s an interesting idea. if it is trivial to implement i will try to do it.
Mek
April 11, 2010 at 8:44 pm
Or you can let them be idiots for not using google spell check
Bubby Boo
April 12, 2010 at 4:01 pm
I love you.
Lils
April 14, 2010 at 8:53 am
Yeah, that sounds cool!
… Did you feel pressure to not make mistakes in that? I would have. :S
Kirby
April 18, 2010 at 2:45 pm
Mmmkay, there’s a few things I might want to see..
1. You should change the font style on the comment sections so you can tell the difference between a lowercase L and a capital i.
2. You should totally open up TEA. That would be fucking sick.
3. Is there really a censoring system on the submitting page? Because when ever I try to make a post with the F-Bomb in it, I can’t get it through. You should get rid of that.
4. It would be pretty cool if registered users could have their own profile page. Not like Facebook or whatever, just a place where you could see your comment history and shit.
5. Does the report button actually work? Whenever I report someone, it seems as though it does nothing. At all.
6. You should make a “Cliche” button next to the “Average” and “Meh” buttons. xD
7. What is wrong with MLIG? Does it even exist?
Umm, I think that’s pretty much everything I would like to see.
P.S. Do you read the comments? What do you think of them? Just kind of wondering.
I_Want_Your_Virginity
April 9, 2010 at 11:12 pm
I would’ve suggested a few things, but IWYV seems to have a lot of it covered :3. Lately, MLIA has been having a fair amount of glitches, this makes me not love it all too much. That is all.
DROP_DEAD
April 10, 2010 at 7:10 am
You should keep the filters that keep profanity off of MLIA. not only because not everyone enjoys profanity. not only because thats what sets MLIA apart from FML and other sucky sites. but because if F-Bombs and other bad words start showing up on MLIA internet protection and filtering software will block MLIA. which means we won’t be able to look at it at on school computers. as it is MLIA is the only site of FML and every other site like this that can be viewed. if i couldn’t look at MLIA, i’d probably drop out.
alex jacobs
April 10, 2010 at 7:36 am
F**k that shit.
lemonpancake
April 10, 2010 at 4:56 pm
Please stay in school
Mek
April 11, 2010 at 8:49 pm
Totally agree with everything IWYV just said. Let’s make it happen!
Dr_Pepper
April 10, 2010 at 12:16 pm
P.S.S. Do you guys comment on here? Now that IWYV asked if you guys read the comments, I’m really curious.
xoXdancerxox
April 10, 2010 at 12:42 pm
no. never.
Mek
April 11, 2010 at 8:49 pm
There _is_ a profanity filter on submissions to protect our younger visitors. Stories with profanity almost always (99.9% of the time) receive nothing but down-votes.
We are working on “profile pages”. You will be able to decide which stories you have submitted should be shown in your profile, so that functionality might take a while.
There was a glitch in the reporting system when we first released it. Even when it works properly, action is not immediately taken. The user in question is nominated for review and a moderator regularly reviews users who are frequently reported.
We hope to have MLIG up and running again soon.
Mek
April 11, 2010 at 9:30 pm
make categories for the stories
and i do think censor is needed. Kids may read this and mlia should be a happy place not a place you came to, to read people writing a few sentences without swearing, right?
Maybe a upload thing? So people would be able to show the “awesome/average” picture they took. There’s alot of those with funny church signs and i want proof!
TLT
April 10, 2010 at 12:21 am
There’s no filter on the comments, so I don’t see the point in a filter on the stories.
I_Want_Your_Virginity
April 10, 2010 at 11:23 am
And vise-versa. theres a filter on the stories, so i think there should be a filter on the comments
moose
April 11, 2010 at 7:41 am
No, I don’t think there should be a filter on the comments.
llamafish
April 11, 2010 at 2:19 pm
I don’t about everyone else, but I would leave this site in a heartbeat if a filter was put on the comments.
I_Want_Your_Virginity
April 11, 2010 at 3:52 pm
All righty, here I go. Ok, so first of all, do you think that you could create a place where we could see our commenting history? I know that it would be a lot of comments, but maybe you could seperate them by story, or something like that. I know a lot of people will probably say this, but is it possible to make sure more average stories get through? I mean, I like bashing the OPas much as the next person, but it would’ve nice if you could attempt to get an average story in there once in a while. And could you create a profile thing for each commenter, and if you click on their name, it could bring you to it? Just something like that so maybe we could get to know each other a little more. I think that’s it. Thanks for reading this, and for all the effort you’re putting in for us commenters.
xoXdancerxox
April 10, 2010 at 5:22 am
Also, I ebjoyed the oppossum/possum pictures. *thumbs up and approving head nod*
xoXdancerxox
April 11, 2010 at 5:21 am
yes, it was a nice touch.
ME
April 15, 2010 at 6:15 pm
Dude, your website is taking ages for me to load. I hope to Jebus you are doing something to fix it. Also do everything IWYV said.
llamafish
April 10, 2010 at 5:53 am
Also you need to fix the report button.
llamafish
April 11, 2010 at 7:21 pm
I have a street here called Opossum Pike, just thought you’d like to know. Other than that…keep up the average work!
DROP_DEAD
April 10, 2010 at 7:12 am
Opossum Pike is right down the road from me… What state do you live in???
mmbb9964
April 10, 2010 at 7:46 pm
Way to be a stalker.
Gerald Ford
April 11, 2010 at 4:33 pm
I’m not a stalker. What if DD is like my next-door neighbor?
mmbb9964
April 12, 2010 at 4:18 pm
Well..this is late, but Maryland.
DROP_DEAD
April 15, 2010 at 3:48 pm
i submitted an MLIA story 2 months ago. it still hasnt been voted on. this should be fixed.
yesiliketacos
April 10, 2010 at 7:40 am
Firstly, it might have been voted on but rejected. Secondly, there are like ten million submissions, so you have to be patient. Thirdly, the log of submissions were deleted around New Years, so all posts submitted but not voted on were deleted.
RogueMuffinCatcher
April 11, 2010 at 8:21 am
We didn’t delete the entire log of submissions. We skipped over stories submitted in December of 2009. All stories submitted in 2010 will still be voted on.
Mek
April 11, 2010 at 9:35 pm
I still stand by the separate forum section. It would be a good substitute for, say, Tinychat, where some of us can’t participate. *stares*
Theoneyoudidntsee
April 10, 2010 at 8:35 am
That’s rude. But true.
lemonpancake
April 10, 2010 at 4:59 pm
I agree with TOYDS!
RogueMuffinCatcher
April 11, 2010 at 8:22 am
I think that MLIA is perfect. I love you guys!!!!!!!
blueberry muffin
April 10, 2010 at 9:15 am
I published a bunch of stories a long time ago (like months ago) and none of them have been voted on. Whats up with that?
Claud900
April 10, 2010 at 11:38 am
One more thing- you should dye your hair purple than turn it into a mohawk. That’d be rad.
Dr_Pepper
April 10, 2010 at 12:19 pm
H-elp.. glitches e-e-e-everywh-ere.
Lycan4425
April 10, 2010 at 12:49 pm
Okay. I think it would be really great if there was a section on the website where you guys could post things. Like, upcoming updates and stuff. Maybe a poll for changes or a T-Shirt design or something. ‘Commenter of the Week.’ I dunno. Just throwing that out there.
TheBaddingFairy
April 10, 2010 at 2:35 pm
Commenter of the Week would kick ass.
I_Want_Your_Virginity
April 10, 2010 at 3:27 pm
Commenter of the Week would bring thousands of more noobs! Plus, I would always win. No fair.
lemonpancake
April 10, 2010 at 5:02 pm
Not if it was Modest Commenter of the Week, LP.
I would totally beat your ass.
DROP_DEAD
April 10, 2010 at 5:07 pm
No way D_D. I’m WAY to pretty to be conceited.
lemonpancake
April 11, 2010 at 4:37 pm
I liked tha old moderating page better because then I could read pages of submission on mii phone instead of just one.
rewindthissong
April 10, 2010 at 3:53 pm
Dear GK,
You are no doubt wondering if I am going to post ideas. I am.
- Do NOT bail on the TEA. Just put non-cliche stories. We commenters could even help you. (There are about 100 or less of us. It could work.)
- Try and fix MLIA’s occcasional vomiting.
- Allow one username per e-mail address.
- Marry me.
- Let people get notifications if their story gets published.
- Add a ‘Go jump into a lake’ option.
- Change ‘Best of the Year’ to ‘Best Ever’
Alright, that’s all I’ve got that IWYV didn’t.
Have an average day!
lemonpancake
April 10, 2010 at 5:24 pm
Don’t CHANGE ‘Best of the Year’ to ‘Best Ever’! ADD ‘Best Ever!’ And I second ‘Go jump in a lake’ (maybe ‘Go jump in a loch and get swallowed by Nessie’?)
mmbb9964
April 10, 2010 at 7:44 pm
I lurve the ‘Go jump in a lake’ idea and actually, I lurve all of these. I just all around lurve you LP. Will you marry me? I think that’s legal in…well lots of places. : P
DROP_DEAD
April 10, 2010 at 8:45 pm
I think there should be a filter for curses on the stories, but I don’t really think there needs to be categories. I think the stories themselves are fine the way they are now. However, I would most like to have one of those “share” buttons for the stories so I could more easily post my favorites on Facebook and such
Thanks!
frodofan
April 10, 2010 at 7:06 pm
There is a share button.
RogueMuffinCatcher
April 11, 2010 at 8:24 am
To clarify, you have go onto the comments page and the button for sharing is there. Don’t feel obligated to post any comments though.
RogueMuffinCatcher
April 11, 2010 at 8:25 am
I think there should be a friending system for MLIA members. I don’t know, everyone else took my ideas. : /
Umamaniqua
April 10, 2010 at 8:19 pm
Also, for the links on the side, they can open into a new tab when you click it automatically, that would be cool because then we could read MLIA’s and go onto the site at the same time.
PS YES I am aware of the period symbol.
Umamaniqua
April 10, 2010 at 8:21 pm
Ok, I figured this out! If you click with the scroll bar it opens into a new tab! I now use it for almost every link. Im happier about this than I should be.
ME
April 10, 2010 at 8:59 pm
Also, hold control as you click on the link. This opens a new tab for it. (Convenient on laptops with no scrolly mouse thing.)
JKristine
April 17, 2010 at 8:44 pm
If you could delete or edit comments and delete posts that would be great. I like the idea of a spell check. I submitted a story, only to realize I typed too fast and it came out all wrong. Thanks for taking my ideas!
ME
April 10, 2010 at 8:57 pm
OKAY IM FUCKINGPISSED BECAUSE I JUST POSTED A REALLY LONG COMMENTYHAT DIDNT GET PROCESSED OR SOME SHIT IDEK MAN
WHERE IS IT THAT WAS TH BEST COMMENT EVAR DAMMMNNNNN
kevinsofttaco
April 10, 2010 at 11:05 pm
Poor shift key…
RogueMuffinCatcher
April 11, 2010 at 8:26 am
It was caps lock. Meh. I’m really pissed. I had a long list!
kevinsofttaco
April 11, 2010 at 12:27 pm
Sorry about your comment. Our blog is powered WordPress.com, so we aren’t to blame (this time). We have credited your account with one “th best comment evar dammmnnnnn”.
Mek
April 11, 2010 at 9:46 pm
Can you make it so that we can delete our old submissions on our accounts?
moose
April 11, 2010 at 7:37 am
Can you make it so we can delete our old submissions on our accoounts?
moose
April 11, 2010 at 7:38 am
haha sorry, glich
moose
April 11, 2010 at 7:47 am
-There should be a spell check on the submissions box
-Some way to track our comments
-A way to be told how many votes our submission has and if it has been deleted
That’s all I’ve got. =D
ammieblue
April 11, 2010 at 10:23 am
- Edit comments.
- 3rd voting option (“awesome”?)
- Site activities / fun events.
- Better voting system (FML is bigger and posts within a day or two, I’m sure you can find a way)
- User profiles.
- Delete your comment or story.
- Exceptionally Average section.
- More frequent updates.
Circafan
April 11, 2010 at 11:45 am
We have already improved our voting system, but we are still working off the backlog from when it sucked.
We are working on profiles.
I am not sure about deleting/editing comments. It ruins comment threads. Deleting stories might be possible.
More frequent updates… on the blog?
Mek
April 11, 2010 at 9:50 pm
I understand the harm in having an edit button, because people would go DFFgAgshhaaha to save their spot at the top, and then go back to write something. But deletion seems harmless.
And yes, more blog updates. Even the smallest site news is news. It makes us feel like you’re present more often and care more.
PS. Let me incubate your chickadees ;]
Circafan
April 12, 2010 at 5:46 am
Ummm, hello? MLIA. Keyword here is average. So, yeah, don’t change a thing. Cuz a lot of these suggestions make the “new and improved” MLIA sound oddly similar to FMyLife.And we all know what a joke that is.
caroline
April 11, 2010 at 2:18 pm
I’d like to see contests posted on the blog. I mean really, can you even imagine the crazy, out-of-this-world entries you’d get from this place? It’d be a shame not to
Also, will there ever be any fluctuation in the time it takes for a story to be voted on and published? I’d hate to see it get backed up really bad.
Thanks for being average, MLIA
cyanlights
April 11, 2010 at 2:29 pm
Why did Yahoo make a Mystery Yahoo, then make it so that it says “I LOVE MLIA” whenever you search for something with mlia in the search term somewhere? Does it not know that we hate it?
Vlad the Petunia Slayer
April 11, 2010 at 4:39 pm
I think it would be cool if you could fav things. This way, you can look back at the best ones, and show them to people.
Ella
April 11, 2010 at 6:50 pm
You can. Click the “save” button on a post.
I_Want_Your_Virginity
April 11, 2010 at 7:09 pm
I think a way to ban certain people would be good. there are some people who have really inappropriate comments and they need to be banned. For those of you who know about it, there was a user named “imaperv” threatening bad stuff to “kassie12″
so she is not going on MLIA anymore.
Omykyan
April 11, 2010 at 6:54 pm
You bad a comment, then press report. It’s as easy as it gets.
xoXdancerxox
April 11, 2010 at 7:42 pm
Also, If the best things were done by finding the average of mehs and averages instead of just the averages. The way it works now the comments with the most averages may also have the most mehs.
ME
April 12, 2010 at 6:24 am
Guru, can you please re-release the MLIA app in the Apple app store? It was THE greatest app in there and now it’s gone!!! To take it’s place, some horrible Pretending2Text app! This is an outrage! Please put it back up! For the sake of all us MLIA-ers!
Thank you and salutations!
CorporalCupcake
April 12, 2010 at 2:30 pm
mean april fools joke
melissa
April 12, 2010 at 6:09 pm
Do you have a random option? So it takes you to a random page and you can just read that … If you don`t add it ..
Moi.
April 12, 2010 at 6:55 pm
There is one on the iPhone application, which is great. I agree, introducing one into the website would be great
ProposeWithOreos
April 13, 2010 at 12:37 am
I think we need to include dates MLIA’s were entered into the search queue at the end of each MLIA, because it’s really annoying to have to check every day to see if people have started voting on your post yet.
Creagan
April 14, 2010 at 9:00 pm
i think you shouldput a sarcastic font for when writing stories
that would be sick.
Sarcastic :)
April 15, 2010 at 4:28 pm
Ok, here I go. I almost died laughing when I read the comment of ‘Go Jump in A Lake’, but I feel if this were an option I would feel obligated to press it each time I voted on a story, due to its hilarity. Therfore this would not be a good option because it would not be fair to the storys owner.
CiCI
April 16, 2010 at 5:44 am
Illustrated MLIAs? I dunno. FML may get upset. But still. Yeah… And maybe a discussion area? That could be spiffy.
2ninja4u
April 19, 2010 at 3:17 pm
Well they have comments, but they are just filled with people who hate the unaverageness and insult every story. Do you mean like a chatroom? Idk how that would work.
ME
April 19, 2010 at 3:40 pm
I guess something like that where people can talk about stories and procrastinate and such, a place where users can talk without swimming through rude and profane comments.
2ninja4u
April 19, 2010 at 3:43 pm
Yeah, the comments have gone sort of haywire. Could they have two catagories for the comments? one for dislikeing stories one for likeing them. That would be nice.
ME
April 19, 2010 at 3:48 pm
Yeah. I don’t know. The operators of MLIA are pretty cool, so hopefully they’ll work something out.
2ninja4u
April 19, 2010 at 3:51 pm
Superb publish! I absolutely agree with you.
Numbers Schildgen
April 19, 2010 at 8:43 pm
Did anyone else notice a smiley face at the bottom of this page?? Or is it just my ITouch….?
Purplepickleddinosaurs
April 21, 2010 at 2:17 pm
There is a happy face!!
Matinthehat
May 9, 2010 at 9:53 am
I have an idea… Dunno if it’s worth anything or if it already exists [if it does, please ignore me] How about a notification every time there is a new blog post?
Just a thought. BTW< love the 'go jump in a lake' idea, would work well on the cliche's. if not, a cliche button would be nice =]
Average evening/morning/day to you!
lunaleska
April 26, 2010 at 9:17 am
It would be really cool if we could delete our old stories.
Please add a delete button!!
Wondering
April 30, 2010 at 11:35 pm
There should be less censorship with the posts.
I know that some people dont like cussing but thats their problem. Cussing is all around them so why is the internet a bad place to cuss.
crazychik
June 7, 2010 at 2:15 pm
Salute that blog is really amazing are you working as writer ? Maybe i can book you to compose for my blog?
AntentHat
June 30, 2010 at 6:26 am
i am hobby visual artist, any chance you like to show some of my photographs? i guess it would be neat and fit on your cms
really admire your site structure! send me a e-mail please in case you want to colaborate
nigeWhite
December 12, 2010 at 4:32 pm
Hello! I love watching football and I loved your blog as well.
football
May 11, 2011 at 1:53 am
Delete account option. Thanks
Person
October 2, 2011 at 4:12 pm
Also, it seems like there is a problem with the server or something. At least for me it takes ages to open the front page, and opening a post. I am sure you already know about this problem though. Hope you manage to fix it soon.
Bela out (again).
BelaLugosi
April 10, 2010 at 4:23 am