MLIA and the Six Average Things
Dear MLIA reader,
Here is a list of six average things that we think you should know, in no particular order.
Thing #1 – Sharks will only eat you if you are wet.
We feel that some of the best things about MLIA are the valuable survival lessons that we learn from it. We thought we should share this one with you, since it may save your life someday.
Thing #2 – The MLIA RSS feed works now.
Average websites have RSS feeds that work. Our website tries to be average. We’re one step closer. Enjoy the RSS here.
Thing #3 – We have a phone number.
Yes, for serious. We have a real, live, fresh from the factory phone number. For receiving communication from people.
So give us a call!
It will go to voicemail, and we’ll use your calls for various things in the future. Maybe for a podcast, or a video, or as background music for our bi-weekly sit-around-being-as-average-as-possible parties.
The number is 1 (405) 428-3724, which is like 1 (405) 4-AVERAGE but without the E, because that would be too many numbers. Check out the info page here.
We can’t promise anything about this- depending on how many people call, you might have difficulty getting through or messages might got lost, but we’re excited to hear from you and we will try to listen to all your messages.
Thing #4 – Rowboats.
Rowboats are really average. I googled them and found the most average rowboat page I could. Enjoy.
Thing #5 – Shirt Design
We love the stuff that you come up with, so we want to get you involved with our t-shirt designs. If you have a design for an MLIA-themed t-shirt, we’d love for you to submit it to us at design@mylifeisaverage.com
Before submitting, you should read and agree to the terms and conditions found here, because we’re doing everything by the book.
Here’s something that we’ve already had submitted- it’s a great example of the kind of thing we’re looking for.
Where the Average Things Are
Thing #6 – Jackets
Now that it’s Winter, jackets are our friends. In honor of them we present you with this MLIA.
Today, I bought an item that will keep me warm but give my hands the freedom to use the remote, phone, or eat a snack. It’s called a jacket. MLIA.
Thanks for fixing the RSS feed! I use those for almost everything. Because that is average. Nice average boat site too! Really captures the essence of being average.
Burninator
January 23, 2010 at 12:18 am
i like thing #1, thnx for the advice
Angel
January 23, 2010 at 1:44 pm
Sorry, but for the last six months, MLIA has regrettably not stood for “My life is average.” Oh, how I miss the days of “Today, I remembered a funny joke that I heard. I chuckled to myself. MLIA” or “Today my girlfriend called and said she was breaking up with me, but then she came out of the tunnel. Her connection was much better. MLIA” or “Today, my girlfriend called me saying, “We need to talk.” I showed up at her house and we had a nice conversation. MLIA”
The new stories are neither funny nor average nor witty.
Zach
January 23, 2010 at 3:32 pm
I agree, but shocking grammar.
“Today, my girlfriend called me saying, “We need to talk.” I showed up at her house and we had a nice conversation. MLIA”
should be:
“Today, my girlfriend called me saying, ‘We need to talk.’ I showed up at her house and we had a nice conversation. MLIA”
Remember, single quotation marks(‘) inside normal ones (“)
AntiNinjaMovement
February 3, 2010 at 4:54 am
I totally agree with you. What happened to the MLIA where only average stories were accepted. I personally never have suspected someone of being a ninja, don’t search for real waldos, don’t play around like I am in Harry Potter, and I don’t meet the love of my life in ridiculous situations.
Caty
April 18, 2010 at 11:01 pm
Dear MLIA creator:
You should create a “my life really is average” website for the truly average people… Just a suggestion.
Thanks.
Tim
January 23, 2010 at 5:11 pm
Whenever I call the hotline it says either the number is not in service or has a loud pitched beep that hurts my ears. D:
Sydney
January 23, 2010 at 7:03 pm
hmm… we haven’t noticed any problems, other people are getting through just fine. what country are you calling from?
Mek
January 24, 2010 at 12:29 am
Hey, I like the hotline thing. I’ll probably call you guys 500 times with really stupid messages.
Anyway, I don’t think that My Life is Average should stay the way it is. The content of the website should stay true to the name. The subdivision should be the cliche stories, not the average stories.
Just wondering a couple of things. Just kinda curious.
1) Do you ever read the comments? Are they annoying or amusing to you?
2) Do you personally think the site is funny nowadays?
Circa
January 24, 2010 at 8:24 am
Agreed.
And about the comments, do you think they make the site better? Because I think that readership of MLIA has gone up because of commenting. Perhaps you could cater more to the commenters? Removing the rate limit would be an start.
OctoPie
January 26, 2010 at 7:53 pm
Thanks for fixing the RSS feed. It’s essential.
Luca Masters
January 24, 2010 at 8:31 am
I believe MLIA is perfect the way it is haters… leave.
Mar Megs
January 24, 2010 at 2:46 pm
You think all this fake, cliche crap is funny?
“Today, I tried number 14 in 333 ways to get kicked out of Wal-mart. Picking up a guitar hero controller and singing Wake Me Up When September ends in a screechy voice. The cute employee saw me, stole a lighter and a bow tie and pretended to be my screaming audience. we high fived after the fact. We are also going out this sunday. MLIA”
Zach
January 24, 2010 at 5:47 pm
Oh God, that one was horrible. How many cliches is that… 5? Really?
Circa
January 24, 2010 at 6:41 pm
Cliches are average. And I love this site. Things like these happen with suprising frequency. They are, in fact, average.
Simon
January 25, 2010 at 3:19 pm
Things like, what, exactly? People from Wal-Mart acting stupid? Well, I guess that’s normal. But cute employees dating customers who do randomly idiotic things? I think when I tried to start a full-store game of soccer, I was kicked out, not asked out.
Mobile
January 25, 2010 at 3:32 pm
Unlucky. You got a grumpy one. But yes, some of them happen a lot.
Simon
January 27, 2010 at 9:38 pm
MLIA is awesome the way it is now.
Hannah
January 29, 2010 at 3:00 pm
I totally agree. Who are the haters to define what is and isn’t average? Here;s a tip, people: if you don’t like the site, DON”T GO THERE!It’s as simple as that.
Jackie Willow
May 14, 2011 at 5:54 pm
“The new stories are neither funny nor average nor witty.”
I hate to break it to you Zach, but average people are not normally funny or witty.
They are average. It just so happens that cliche is considered cliche because everyone uses them, in other words they are average.
We can’t help being average. How about you make a new site for yourself and others who feel the same way you do:
http://www.mylifeisfunnyandwittyandcontainsnocliches.com
Compromise; then we can all be happy.
Julie
January 25, 2010 at 9:30 am
LOL!!! I totaly want that shirt!!!
Sirfirgirl
January 26, 2010 at 11:19 am
How come MLIA is not updating their stories? The same top story has been up for countless hours now. Please fix this!!!!!!! It’s quite heartbreaking :,(
CorporalCupcake
January 26, 2010 at 12:40 pm
Well have you guys ever read a MLIA and said hey that’s happened to meXD
true I hate the ones where they end up going out with someone ect. My favorite one of those was one that said “no I did
not get his number but I broke his leg”
maybe we should create a site for stuff like that… Oh yeah it’s called mlig lol
more average I say:D!
Jocelyn
January 26, 2010 at 12:45 pm
Well, I hate stories like this…
Today, a cute stranger knocked on my door, he had a lightsaber and a tiara on.He was singing Love Story by Taylor Swift while he was knocking on the door.He goes to my school.Hello Soulmate.MLIA
ARRGH!! ANNOYING! And totally unbelieveable.
I however, LOVE these stories.
Today, While a song was playing on my computer I typed each letter to the beat as I was typing.MLIA
Because I love MLIA because its somewhere that funny average stuff happens, we write stories about it, And its something we all understand and have gone through.Its nice
Keep it Average ^^
Marisa
January 26, 2010 at 11:56 pm
I get where you’re coming from but half the fun would be going ‘ha! i did that the other day’ or whatever. Doesn’t everyone get popcorn all over theatre seats and get distracted by the smell of subway? its universal
InvisibleFriend
January 29, 2010 at 4:58 pm
1. Haters, leave. They may be cliche, but who cares? If they make you laugh, what’s the problem. Plus, if that is the majority of the stories, then the majority makes it average, therefore it is average.
And as some people have stated above cliches, are average.
2. I do agree with the people complaining about comments. We should be able to report them if they are harassing or anything of that matter. But if they are annoying, just maybe warn people of that.
3. Pretty good list. I must prove that a shark can bite you when you are dry. Must. Rowboats are not average where I live. This is probably because I live in a desert. Oh, and the shirt design is very average. Do you have to pay to call the number? Ha. ha. and we also don’t need jackets.
4.I am VERY happy there was new stories. I thought I seriously might go insane that day. (Not really, but I would be VERY bored.)
carissa
January 27, 2010 at 3:22 pm
I like how there’s a good mix. Some stories are completely ridiculous and unbelievable. Some are completely average. Different people like different things. For me the fun is searching for the posts i personally like the best. The variety is good. It means more readers.
Brendan
January 27, 2010 at 10:38 pm
Perhaps a “favorite” feature would be good for the site, so as to allow people to keep their own personal list of favorites that they can access immediately (and remember the good old days of “Today, I noticed my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because ‘irony’ has the word iron in it. MLIA”) or something like that.
Anna
January 28, 2010 at 3:34 pm
If you have an account and are logged in, you can save your favorites by clicking the ‘save’ link which magically appears at the bottom of each story.
Mek
January 29, 2010 at 2:15 am
WOW!! thank you i never noticed hahaha
Kyra
December 23, 2010 at 11:41 am
I miss the MLIA that I could read and think”haha that happens all the time to me”. Truly average things worded in creative ways. For all the hater haters, you are outnumbered by hater hater haters! Also, you don’t have to be cliche and fake to be funny… i.e. Today, I say a Land O’ Lakes cheese and realized it said LOL Cheese. MLIA
Patrick Von uselessface
January 28, 2010 at 9:16 pm
Should be Today I saw. Not today I say
Patrick Von uselessface
January 28, 2010 at 9:18 pm
405 eh? That’s my area code!
foltaggio
January 30, 2010 at 9:28 am
hehe me too! OKC
Danie
March 18, 2010 at 2:26 pm
It’s average to dislike something about a website. It’s also average to complain about it. Average also, it is, when nothing happens to change it, and equally average when a change is made.
Is it me, or is every way of settling this issue average?
…I’ve just pointed out something that doesn’t matter.
Well.
Pairlitaire
January 31, 2010 at 9:23 pm
Very average boat site. I approve.
supercollsuperman
February 1, 2010 at 6:34 pm
We should start a website called MLIAA. ( my life is above average)Would that make everyone happy?
Batz
February 5, 2010 at 2:14 am
Mlia could just make a new site, called MliAwesome. But. Think about it this way. The majority of posts posted are ‘not average’. Meaning, a lot of the readers are ‘not average’. Or the ‘average’ are just far too lazy to make their own posts. Without the ‘not average’ readers and posters, Mlia will seriously fail, losing a lot of its readership. It is average for things to shut down when they aren’t popular enough. Do we want MLIA to stop? No. Anyway. People with a problem with the newer posts should either enter own average posts. But I hardly ever see them! So stop complaining and start posting.
DanaDear
March 13, 2010 at 3:07 pm
Thankfully, now some good average MLIAs are coming through:
Today, I realized that whenever I read Dr. Seuss, I have trouble not thinking in rhymes for the rest of the day. MLIA
And:
Today I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich, but we were out of cheese. I had toast. MLIA
Also:
Today I texted all my friends saying “Don’t text me! And don’t reply with ‘why?’!” A few minutes later my best friend texted me “por que?” Smartass. MLIA
Maybe these will keep everyone happy.
MLIA
Simon
March 14, 2010 at 12:20 am
Good job for maintaining your article up to date and working, I know it costs you cash and people appreciate all your time and effort that you put into your website bridal shapewear
Bodysuit Shapewear
March 16, 2010 at 5:22 am
She is a totally unbelieveable performer. I listen to all of her songs.
Tony Polma
April 17, 2010 at 2:41 pm
I like both sides of MILA, but when those memorial posts come up for someone that died, it really cheeses me off. It’s not that I don’t understand their grief, but it’s not what I’m on the internets for.
Kyle "The Yellow Dart" Smith
August 19, 2010 at 7:45 pm