the official MLIA blog

is average.

Apparently, the report link we introduced isn’t working properly, because we received a number of comments on the last post complaining about a user, whom you’d reported, but wasn’t on our radar. We are looking into where the issue is and will hopefully have a fix soon.

Based on your tips, we found a number of accounts which appear to belong to the spammer in question and have disabled all his accounts. “His?”, you might be thinking, “way to assume”. Don’t be so quick to judge though, because I didn’t just ban all his accounts. I did some sleuthing too.  And the spammer’s name is…. I’m not actually going to say, that would be whack. However, I am considering adding a clause to the site’s terms – If we catch you spamming or trolling, we can publish any and all information we can uncover about you. Not seriously, but that could be amusing.

Somebody claiming to represent the anonymous organization (ironic, no?) that goes by DFRA posted this in the comments yesterday

I’d prefer to do this near the beginning of a new post so more people see it, but this’ll have to do. ATTENTION MLIAers! Due to recent events involving a member of the DFRA being brought to our attention, I’m coming here now to tell you that the DFRA itself has in no way initiated or condoned the spamming that took place here earlier today, and for the past while. This was the work of an individual (and overzealous) member that decided to use the DFRA to spam and troll MLIA despite the fact that we have nothing against this site or its commenters. The member in question is being reviewed and action WILL be taken against them. They’ve yet to hand over their formspring or MLIA to the DFRA, but will do so shortly (within the next day or so). We apologize for any and all inconveniences that they have caused.

I salute DFRA’s commitment to only troll for good and I hope they are submitting their “Best of” to helpfeedthetroll.com, so everybody can enjoy their finest work.

Update: I forgot to mention that mlia.com now redirects to mylifeisaverage.com. We are working on a more practical use for the domain, but for now it will take you to the MLIA homepage.

First I wanted to clarify a few things about the changes I made. From the comments on the last post, I think some people were under the impression that I started moderating the posts – only allowing average posts through. This is not the case, the way stories get published is very much the same. I made two main changes. I made it easier/quicker for you – the voters – to get rid of bad stories. I also fast-forwarded the queue, so you weren’t voting on stories submitted last year.

Second in the last post’s comments katiebear4ev made a good point. ALL the stories don’t have to be average. Personally, I was never a fan of the “cliché” stories, but some of the less average, more hard to believe stories were absolutely hilarious. Based on past experience, I am sure it won’t be long until some of those stories start to get published again.

Which brings me to my next point. The Extraordinarily Average page (or TEA as I like to call it (not really, I’ve never called it that before)). What should I do? Obviously, when all kinds of stories were getting published it made sense to make a page of hand-picked average stories. Now the front page has lots of average stories, so TEA would be redundant. I was planning on postponing TEA until it is needed again. Is that ok?

I’ve also been working on revamping the store which is now up and running. Please leave a comment if you like (but seriously, only if you like it ) It is easier to navigate and now all shirts are available in standard weight, heavy weight and different colors. I will also be adding at least one of the user submitted designs in the next couple weeks. If you have a design or an idea for a shirt design you can send it to design/at/mylifeisaverage/com. Proceeds are still being donated to building a well.

Finally, links. I was thinking it might be time to revamp the average links in the sidebar. Any suggestions?

Disclaimer: This story is not actually funny… at all… you shouldn’t just believe everything you read.

Hey Guys, Gals and Circafan,

As you might have noticed, there were no new MLIAs on the site for about 12 hours today. My bad.

A few weeks ago, I announced some changes we were working on for the site. We hit a few road blocks with those features and as a result we weren’t able to finish them before school work started piling up again. Last night I decided that I had to make some changes and I had to make them NOW. I quickly whipped up a quick-fix to help reduce the number of stories in the queue. In my haste, I didn’t test my code properly and I broke a few things.

Today I spent a few hours fixing the bugs I introduced as well as a few more I found, so hopefully is already back to normal. The criteria for getting on the front page has changed a little, so there might be very few stories getting published and then suddenly tons, but I will keep tweaking things until a good number of stories are getting published each day.

I was planning on launching the “Extraordinarily Average” page today, but that has been pushed back for obvious reasons.

If you are one of the active commenters on the site, you will be happy to know that I’ve eased the limit on comments. Also, I noticed you haven’t been bashing the latest MLIAs in the comments – although kiska said, “MLIA is on a nice roll today….if this keeps up, I am going to bash the OP anyway.”, so I’m glad you will be able to find something to rag on.

Keep it average,

Mek

The Average Award:
Recognizing spectacularly average things since the date that this article was written.

This week, we would like to give the average award to eggs.

Eggs are spectacularly average. I will list some average things about them.

• They are an ingredient in lots of average baked goods.
• They are a staple food for many different cultures, both eastern and western.
• They come from chickens, which are perhaps the average-est of all farm animals
• Their shell is kind of strong, but not too strong. Eggs’ shell strength is average.
• They are white. White is a pretty average color.
• They aren’t even unique to chickens. Lots of animals lay eggs, although those eggs aren’t quite as average.
• They were the average word of the day for like 14 days in a row. If that doesn’t make them average, I don’t know what average is.

So, now eggs finally get the recognition they deserve. Congratulations, eggs! … I guess.

Now, enjoy the following MLIA and have a great weekend! Or week! Or whatever!

Today, I asked my mom why we get eggs from the Easter Bunny and not the Easter Chicken. She didn’t know either. MLIA.

Hello again everyone!

Right now, I’m sitting at home reading words from a computer, and occasionally typing them. Most of you are probably doing that too. Welcome to the average club. Give yourself a pat on the back. But don’t feel too good about it. An obligatory self-inflicted back-pat signifying your acceptance into the average club is enough.

Today, we’re going to take a look at something that discerning members of the average club will find relevant to their interests. In our very first…

AVERAGE REVIEW

We decided that the MLIA community needs some guidance when it comes to incredibly average products. We need to know how average things are. Why? I’m not entirely sure. But wouldn’t it be comforting to know that your chair is exactly 1.5 times as average as your keyboard?

The average review will use the “rock” scale. Not very average gets one rock. Very average gets five rocks. This is because rocks are average.

Today, I’ll be reviewing Boise® Aspen™ 50 Recycled Multipurpose Paper, 8 1/2″ x 11″, 20 Lb, 92 Brightness, because as the printer paper changing guy at the place I work, it’s the only paper that I know about, and paper is really average.

The first thing that strikes me as pretty average is the color of the paper. It’s white. Average paper is white. Score one average rock for Boise® Aspen™ 50 Recycled Multipurpose Paper, 8 1/2″ x 11″, 20 Lb, 92 Brightness!!!

The paper comes in an average sized, relatively lightweight cardboard box, and there are 10 reams of 500 pages per box. 10 is a very average number, and the average ream of paper should have 500 pages. Which is exactly how many pages a ream of Boise® Aspen™ 50 Recycled Multipurpose Paper, 8 1/2″ x 11″, 20 Lb, 92 Brightness has!!!
Score one more rock. Please note that I didn’t actually count the number of pages. I think it’s safe to assume, though. The good folks at Boise® Aspen™ would never lie to me.

I tested this paper’s usability under several average conditions. Printing on it was the first test. I printed a picture on it. It turned out pretty much the same as it would on plain old paper. Good job, paper. I printed out an essay and the ink really took to it- the words stayed on the page even after I tried to shake them off. Finally, I drew some not very impressive stick figures and rocket ships on it. This paper made for slightly above average doodling paper, but certainly nothing that an expert doodler would recommend. All in all, this paper scores one more rock for its averageness in this category.

Next up: the paper is recycled. Although many papers are recycled, recycled paper is a good thing and helps the earth, which makes it not entirely average. On the other hand, most paper is recycled. So, how about half an average rock for that.

Finally, the paper airplane test. We made several paper airplanes using Boise® Aspen™ 50 Recycled Multipurpose Paper, and subjected them to a number of rigorously controlled tests against other major paper brands. The findings were as follows. The aircraft configuration was the International Paper Plane Council standard V-fold delta wing, tossed according to PPC average-toss-velocity standards. Calculated lift/drag ratios all fell within a statistically unremarkable margin around 10:1. Each of the paper aircraft exhibited tolerable but not quite ideal stall behavior, and suffered only minor structural damage to the nose area upon landing, which could best be described as “disappointing, but not really too bad, and hey look, it still kind of flies.” For Boise® Aspen™ 50 Recycled Multipurpose Paper’s outstandingly standard performance, and its slightly suboptimal creasing properties, we award one more average rock.

So after both incredibly rigorous and incredibly lazy tests, we are proud to award Boise® Aspen™ 50 Recycled Multipurpose Paper with four and a half average rocks! That means that it is very average, but not maximally average. So, next time you’re out shopping for paper, consider Boise® Aspen™ 50 Recycled Multipurpose Paper as a perfectly legitimate choice, neither spectacular nor awful, and not really worth thinking too much about.

We’ll leave you with this MLIA, which served as the inspiration for part of this review.

Today, my boss left for a week long vacation. I spent the whole day making a desk full of paper airplanes. I plan to race them tomorrow. MLIA.

Pleas note that we have no connection with Boise® other than that it’s the paper that’s used at the place I work. And I can’t really imagine Boise® paying us to advertise their product’s averageness…

Hi guys and gals,

This is going to be a short blog post.

We’ve just put the finishing touches on the new comment flagging system. If you see an inappropriate comment or if a user is being spammy, down vote their comment and click the report link. We will take appropriate action after reviewing the flagged content.

Sometime in the next few days, we should also have the “Extraordinarily Average” section up, so keep an eye out for that.

Finally, this weeks podcast is shaping up nicely and we will post it on Monday. Be sure to catch that either here or on iTunes.

Keep it Average,
Mek

I am writing this post using Q10, which if you haven’t heard of it, is a text editor that makes typewriter noises while you type. Which is awesome for everybody that isn’t sitting next to you.
Alright, seriously now, I would like to discuss some of the changes planned for MyLifeIsAverage.

Isn’t Christmas Over?

Right now there are lots of stories in the vote on submissions section that mention Christmas and the New Year, because the story queue has gotten quite long. We just finished writing a new algorithm which will sift through stories much quicker and will also (hopefully) improve the quality of stories making it to the front page. It gives registered users more of a say in which stories get published. What does this mean to you? Voting: If you have an account, log in before voting. You can still vote if you aren’t logged in, but it will count less. The stories: Should be fresher (i.e. there won’t be any Valentine’s Day posts in July).

Average Selects

Like McDonald’s chicken selects, except funnier… and more free. We will have a new section on the site which will feature a few hand-picked stories each day. These will be stories that we find extraordinarily average.

Spam

Spam is a canned meat product, which can be served fried. It is wildly popular in Hawaii and Guam. It does not belong on MyLifeIsAverage. To help cut down on the spam in the comments, we are adding the ability for you to report naughty users. After down voting a user’s comment, a link will appear which you can click to report the user. With great power comes great responsibility, so only use this power for good.

Mobile Site

Ever since we launched MyLifeIsAverage back in May, people have asked for mobile apps. We have held off, because we thought it was more important to focus on fixing the basics first. Now that the site is stable (more or less) we want to make MLIA available on mobile devices. Rather than make an iPhone app, which only iPhone users can use, we were thinking about making a mobile version of the website. That way, anybody with internet on their phone will be able to access the site.

The Podcast

The podcast is now available on iTunes. Please subscribe. We are still taking questions for MLIA co-founder Guru Khalsa on the hotline. (Guru Khalsa says: “I would like to answer at least one question from someone with a ridiculously awesome accent. Fake the accent if you have to. It might even be funnier that way…”) Please submit your questions before Tuesday, February 9th.

Also, if you use Firefox and consider yourself a hardcore MLIA fan, consider getting the official MLIA Firefox persona which is available here.